Dear Future Me...

Dear Future Me:

You applied for a part-time teaching and part-time training gig with your company a few weeks ago. You were pretty sure you kicked the interview's ass and you were right. You were offered the original position and then some. You got a call from the big dog and learned that you had been chosen as Lead Teacher of training. From a professional standpoint, this was extremely exciting. You would have been excellent at this job, and you would have undoubtedly opened other doors for future movement within the company. Professionally, it was a great way to acclimate yourself with another facet of virtual education. Professionally, it was an awesome way to challenge yourself. Professionally, it was perfect.

Personally, this gig would have required a learning curve which translates into a lot of extra time. Personally, that meant less time with and for the kids and, more than likely, it also meant needing more help with them. Because this new gig didn't come equipped with a guaranteed pay increase, the idea of shelling out more cash (or even worse, asking more of the family) didn't sit well with you. Personally, it left you unsure and leery. As a result, you turned it down.

While the teacher and business side of you was writhing around uncomfortably dissatisfied at first, the mom in you knew you did the right thing. You knew Brady would only be willing to hug you in public for a few more years and then *BAM* just like that, he would be avoiding eye contact let alone asking for kisses. You knew Ella's burgeoning vocabulary (which is hilarious; she has added "bum, go, and Bah (Brady) to her list of words in the past week), was just going to keep growing and you didn't want to miss the first sentence or step or anything else that you were there for with Brady. So, even though you were feeling a bit dejected (and a lot jealous because you're certain Zach would have jumped at whatever opportunity he wanted, professionally speaking), by the time you read this again, you'll be nodding with approval and patting yourself on the back for, yet again, putting your family first. It's not always easy, and it's not always popular (your boss was very disappointed, but assured you that she would keep you in mind for future projects), it was best for that little blond kid and the chick with the huge brown eyes that light up any time you walk into the room. Also by the time you read this again, that little gal just may hate you because that's what happens when girls are a certain age and you're their mom. So if you haven't already, pour yourself a glass of wine and give yourself the day off. You deserve it.

Sincerely,
You

P.S. You were offered a part-time permanent teaching and part-time permanent subbing position by your immediate supervisor because, as she put it, you are "valued and loved in the department." Basically, she knew you needed help balancing work and home and came up with the perfect solution. You are convinced everything happens for a reason. Now go get that wine.