Help Me, Rhonda! or Lisa...

After what will go down in history as my first trifecta (mental, physical, and professional) meltdown, I'm proud to say that my family escaped unscathed. I, on the other hand, am probably scarred for life. But it's cool; some good stuff resulted:

Because my stress level had reached an all-time high and spilled over into other areas of my life (I was caught red-handed bawling my eyes out while vacuuming because our Dyson wasn't sucking up the dog hair), it became evident to those around me that I was overwhelmed. Juggling two little ones and a full-time job all in the same space and all at the same time forced me to swallow my pride and ask for help. This was a difficult admission for me; I like to believe I can do it all and because what I was struggling most with seemed to be the kids, I started thinking I wasn't doing this whole parenting thing very well. Enter: guilt and self-loathing.

It didn't help that after I had begun my search for child care options, someone close to me asked, "Do you have to work full-time or do you just want to?" Because the short answer is no, I don't have to work full-time, I instantly felt like the world's worst mother. But only for a minute. Okay, maybe two days. But then I realized the more complex, accurate answer is, yes, I have to if we want to build up the kids' college funds, treat ourselves to a date night every six months, or buy a new friggin' vacuum (which proved necessary today. Eff you, Mr. Dyson). And while these things may appear frivolous to some, Zach and I consider them necessary to live the life we want to live.

After being forced to teach a lesson while simultaneously nursing Ella, which, as you may have guessed, resulted in her loud suckling drowning out my voice entirely AND the need to re-record the entire lesson, I made the childcare search my first priority. Thankfully, I found Miss Lisa. She is a former preschool teacher; she opted to leave her job to be a full-time parent (ironic, I  know), and she and her 18-month-old son come to our place twice a week and hang with my kiddos while I work. This allows me a total of 8 uninterrupted hours a week! Brady and Ryan have become fast friends and I love the idea of my little guy playing with someone his own age, not to mention being cared for by a preschool teacher in my own home. I can also keep nursing Ella (just not while I'm teaching!) since she's just in the other room. The whole preschool teacher thing has come in handy, too; Brady told me this morning that the letter P makes the "P-p-p" sound :) Ella, who pretty much hates everyone, absolutely loves Miss Lisa which makes me think this woman was meant to come into my life at this juncture in time. I asked her if she wanted to move in but she politely declined.

Things are looking up professionally, and I think that if my daughter would ever sleep more than 4 hours at a time, I could start working on my mental health. However, being so exhausted and so busy have come in handy: sometimes I'm so tired that I forget to eat. I am dropping baby weight and then some like crazy! See? Silver linings, people, silver linings.

The only mother-son picture we got on our ride :(

Ella has been rolling like a maniac, and is now trying out her legs in the bouncer. She loves to stand, so this is a real treat for her. She's also just realized we have dogs and she shrieks any time either one of them come into the room. She is quite possibly the loudest child on this planet, which she's proved time and time again during the quietest moments in church. At any rate, the dogs are often frightened by her outbursts and try to keep their distance for fear of falling victim to Ella's battle cries.

Zach and I took Brady on a train ride in Schenley this weekend. It's such an adorable little station, kept in tact for the sole purpose of entertaining little kiddos. The cars were open-air which was great because Brady could see all of the trees, the river, and everything else we passed along the way. The train was coupled up to some freight cars that we transported to the Baghdad Plant, so he got to see the smoke stacks and big trucks at the plant, too. On the way back, we went over a little bridge and stopped to feed some ducks in the water below. Brady's head almost burst with excitement! Trains! Trucks! Ducks! AND he got to meet the conductor and blow the whistle at the end of the ride! He's been talking about the whole experience since we got home; he keeps telling Ella that he's sorry she couldn't join because eating apples on the train was "such a fun day." And here I thought spending time with his wonderful parents would have been the highlight of his trip. ;-)

The station :)

"Big red engine"

Ready to feed the ducks

Proud to be Americans ;-)

Blowing the whistle!

It's a hard life